Saw this clip yesterday on twitter and I have some thoughts.
I’ve worked in a few corporate organisations and all of them had this culture of “first name basis” only. I’m aware that that’s not the case with every corporate organisation in the country, but in my experience at least within the financial industry, that seems to be the case for the majority of them. With respect to The Chairman in particular, I know folks working at both UBA and Heirs and as far as I’m aware, that’s also the culture there.
Now full disclosure, that culture has personally never sat right with me mostly due to my strict upbringing. Even years later, I’m still not comfortable with calling superiors by the first name, especially when interacting directly with them. I typically make use of “Sir” or “Ma’am” unless they specifically ask to be addressed by their first name and even then, it’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world. Personally, I don’t mind being called by my first name. How I’m addressed has never really been that deep for me and tbh I’m still young (I think), so it’s still awkward when someone calls me “Sir”.
Despite that though, I still have a big problem with what The Chairman did in the clip. As far as I’m concerned, he was completely out of line.
First things first, I assume that he isn’t an idiot and is responsible for the culture being enforced across his various companies. In which case, why exactly shouldn’t said culture apply universally? I can understand having exceptions for external customers, but he isn’t an external customer. He is as internal as it can possibly get. If he doesn’t like to be addressed by his first name, then make that the standard for everyone and don’t embarrass folks needlessly. It’s not hard. Bro said that he doesn’t subscribe that that “oyibo” whatever, so why replicate that culture across his companies in the first place?
Second, and even more galling is the fact that if this was a foreigner of a similar age addressing him by his first name, he would not have reacted so forcefully. As I understand it, there’s even a clip with that exact same scenario (link below)
This for me is just another example of the low quality of elites that we have in this country. They don’t know much beyond classism. They don’t think deeply beyond just accumulating wealth and worse, for all their talk of Nigerian pride and whatnot, they are mentally colonized.
You are so right & it’s crazy to see all the posturing about “culture & tradition” when the organization has a CLEAR policy and none of that matters here. His antics were unnecessary but not shocking that Nigerians won’t use their heads
MrMerryweather56
There was an recent clip of a white young guy interviewing Dangote,and he used his first name to address him no problem.
This double standard only works on Nigerians who they perceive as ” inferior”.
Wild_Antelope6223
I don’t think they perceive Nigerians as inferior, they give the pass to non Nigerians because they are not familiar with the culture. It’s expected of you as a Nigerian to be cultured.
gorgeousbeauty-116
Thank you. Its simple cultural nuance. And this is actually a business opportunity. Someone can create a culture booklet to be sold at airports to provide foreigners with info on “basic” Naija etiquette.
For example when I first got to college in the US; we were given a small booklet on US etiquette like “smile when you see someone” “Americans like personal space, always maintain a certain distance when speaking or around people” etc
mistaharsh
Or they are 2 different people. We don’t know what this guy would have done if it was a European calling him by his first name if he would correct them just the same.
In any event. If you are from the culture, yes you should know the customs. We respect our elders.
zagadamz
Nothing double standard. There are already 2 standards already. One for foreigners and one for Locals. If you are local person you cannot be doing as if you are foreign.
fanstoyou
There is no double standard? White-boy stuff is completely different from Nigerian culture. This is Nigeria, and not white-boy country? The white-boy is not from Nigeria so, you let the disrespect slide, but this is disrespect at the highest level by this lady. We don’t have to follow every white-boy way. The Japanese still show that same respect because it’s their culture. This is our way, anyone who doesn’t like it, can stay in alabeke forever.
Acetedd
Did you not read the whole post and get the point the OP was making because if you did how are you still reiterating “disrespect of the highest level by this lady”?
Many people have affirmed it is UBA company policy. They seem to be graduate trainees where the same policy would’ve been explained to them and expected of them during the programme. We have the same policy in my company and practically every place I have worked in. I’d been working at a place for a few months with the same policy and during a company event I addressed a jovial senior staff seated at my table with his first name and he said replied me without complaint but another senior staff whispered to me to address him with Mr next time in spite of what company policy says which I did.
So how is addressing the progenitor of a company under the manner of his own official policy “disrespect of the highest level”? and how is it her fault if he is uninformed and unwelcoming to the policy?
Reasonable_Push_2701
I agree with this; embarrassing the young lady is being contrary to what has been laid down in the organization. This coupled with the fact that people have been posting the video and mocking the lady is quite sad. It is utterly needless.
AfroCurrency
Please help me understand this!
He wore a classic Oyibo outfit (a suit and necktie). He addressed his fellow Africans in an Oyibo language. He even prefers to be addressed as “Mr. Someone” instead of his real African name. Yet this man said, “I don’t subscribe to that Oyibo life.” Which life? Is using “Mr” in his name not itself Oyibo culture?
klatuns
Follow rules for addressing people officially, whether in person, online, or via email. Use first names internally, within departments or branches.
Is Tony internal staff? Yes and no. He is the chairman of the organization, not just UBA or the branch she is in.
Always use “Chairman” first. If the other party requests their first name, then use it.
Generally, it’s better to use titles instead of first names.
My honest opinion.
TUBBEW2
It is but was this push necessary in this event ?, look at her mood drop and what the backlash it has created ?.
klatuns
“Wisdom is profitable to the wise” or whatever they say. I am undergoing the same training she underwent and there’s a course base on communication skills. Yes, you are thought to use firstname basis but internally, you can use it with your colleagues or people you are in the same building or branch, not outside. Infact internally, when writing email you’re advised to use @fullname, instead of firstname.
Again, Tony isn’t really an internal staff like that, the wise thing would have been to use “Chairman” or “Mr chairman”, and if he now corrects and ask her to use his first name then it’s better.
Whole_Engine
The lady folded too quickly. She should have completed what she started…. I called you Tony because it is your name (calls it the second time). Or she also state what made her out of the blue start addressing aged people by name which is not a culture in Nigeria. is she a staff?, i don’t know..Does she call people by name from where she comes from? I don’t know. Let some back and forth happen so Tony can also understand that doing this on stage already derails what the event is about. Infact the theme of that event will be long forgotten, this is what is trending.
Kroc_Zill_95
I don’t blame the lady tbh. She’s just starting her career. I remember how I was at the age. Mildly inconveniencing even an assistant manager was enough to leave me terrified to death. She’s very brave asking a question in the first place.
Random_local_man
•23h ago
Even in most parts of Europe, aged men with titles don’t like it when youngsters call them by their first name. So it’s not like it’s exclusively an African thing.
Also, she folded quickly because unlike you, most people don’t like unnecessary drama. Lol
Depth-Legitimate
•18h ago
If I’m being honest, I don’t think there’s much there. It just looks like a clip blown out of proportion.
She addressed him incorrectly, he corrected her, and they both moved on from it quickly. I’m confused why she even thought of addressing him with his first name to begin with tho, cuz I would assume other people already addressed him properly before she spoke
zagadamz
•21h ago
They may call him one title in another country but in Nigeria he has just defined how he prefers.
So let’s wait and see if someone within the country calls him what he has advised to be addressed by and he chastises that person to go the original way the lady wrongly went by.
shewhodoesnot
•21h ago
Maya Angelou said it best when addressed by her first name by a young lady. She corrected her and said she should be addressed as Ms or Dr Angelou. It’s a show of respect and discipline for someone who is way ahead of you in age, status and accomplishments – https://x.com/phosacrum/status/2090714370841903442/video/1?s=46
Ill-Garlic3619
You can easily tell those who work in Nigeria from those who grew up abroad based on these comments, lol.
Whether you like it or not, your culture is reflected in your workplace. That is the same reason people bow rather than simply offering a handshake in a Japanese workplace. It is also the same reason she should know better than to address him simply as Tony, regardless of what they use internally.
1 more reply
Fancy_Ad_9231
Anybody who criticizes the girl has clearly never worked in a first-name company.
I’d love to know the girls background. Is she a staff of TOE’s company?
Wandering_maverick
•
she is a graduate training graduated, they have been taught to address people on a first name basis
BreeBen505
Sorry, but some of you are being deliberately obtuse. Cultural context and nuance matter. If I am in Japan, for example, I understand that there are particular conventions around greeting people. The same is true in the UK, the US, Nigeria, or anywhere else.
I’m an academic, and I always tell my students that they are welcome to address me by my first name. But if they choose to use my surname, then they should use my title. That is a completely normal convention.
I actually think the woman in this situation was wrong. Unless you are already familiar with someone, you generally do not simply assume that you can address them by their first name. Most journalists, after speaking to someone for the first time, will often ask how they would like to be addressed.
Some of the criticism here feels unnecessarily dismissive of Nigerian cultural norms, as though anything rooted in Nigerian culture must automatically be unreasonable or inferior. It is becoming ridiculous.
This is the mark of an insecure man. I don’t care if children call me by my first name, I don’t care if my juniors at work do either. I command respect regardless.
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