The Ballad of Ekuke the Treacherous Belgium Mali nois
Since Wife/Husband Father and Mother has kidnapped herself and Children in Nigeria A Nigerian Dog has been Shockingly involved with The Dog Police .
In the sweltering heat of Benin City, Edo State, lived Sergeant Ekuke, an Alleged purebred Belgian Malinois with the posture of a soldier and the soul of a cheap prostitute. To his owner, Chief Osas, Ekuke was the ultimate guardian — barking at every shadow, stranger, and innocent Okada rider with religious devotion. For five long years, the dog stood post like a faithful husband, chest out, teeth flashing, protecting the family compound with the same repetitive, soul-crushing barks every single night.
But behind those alert ears and that muscular rump lay a heart as black as the night and twice as horny for luxury.
It started with the corned beef. Exeter. That sweet, fatty, overpriced tinned delight that used to slide down Ekuke’s throat like forbidden nectar. Then the economy went to hell, prices skyrocketed, and Chief Osas, like every responsible Nigerian, cut the luxury item cold turkey.
“You think money grows on mango trees?” Osas had barked at him five years ago.
Photo Ekuke When he was An Activist
Ekuke never forgot. And he never forgave.
One humid Thursday night, the unthinkable happened. Ekuke was “kidnapped.” A ransom note was shoved under the gate demanding one million Naira for the safe return of “the loyal dog.” Chief Osas nearly fainted. The entire Benin City police force was mobilized. Social media went wild. #BringBackEkuke trended harder than a new Davido song.
Meanwhile, in a abandoned bungalow two streets away, Ekuke was living his best life.
Surrounded by a gang of battle-scarred stray cats — the neighborhood’s most notorious criminals — the big Malinois was stretched out like a Lagos big boy on vacation. The queen of the gang, a sleek tortoiseshell femme fatale named Madam Ashee , was purring sweet nonsense into his ear while another cat fed him chunks of Exeter Corned Beef straight from the tin.
“Ahh, my love,” Madam Ashee meowed seductively, rubbing her body against his powerful chest, “tell me again how you bark so convincingly every night while selling your owner’s location for tinned beef. You are such a bad boy.”
Ekuke let out a low, satisfied growl, tail wagging lazily. “Five years without my Exeter? Those humans thought they could starve my palate? I would have sold the entire family for one spoon of that corned beef. You cats? You understand luxury. You understand me.”
The stray cats had planned the “kidnapping” perfectly. Every night while Ekuke performed his fake security theater — barking at nothing like a paid actor — the cats slipped in and out of the compound, gathering intel. In return, they promised him daily deliveries of the forbidden corned beef. The ransom was just theatre. Ekuke himself had suggested the one million figure. “Make it painful,” he had told them, “so they value me more when I return.”
When the police finally raided the hideout (after a tip from a jealous local mongrel), they found the shocking truth: Ekuke was not chained. He was not beaten. He was lying on a pile of old sacks, belly full, with three cats grooming him intimately while Madam Ashee fed him another slice of corned beef like a sugar baby on allowance day.
Photo Ekuke @2years Old
Chief Osas stood there, mouth open.
“Ekuke… my loyal dog?”
Ekuke looked up, licked corned beef juice from his snout, and gave one half-hearted bark — the same bark he had used for five years.
The police inspector shook his head in disbelief. “Oga, this dog no get shame at all. He dey do inside job with stray cats. For corned beef!”
To this day, Ekuke is back home. But now the family knows the truth. Every night he still barks the same way. Only now Chief Osas mutters under his breath:
“Shut up, you bloody traitor. Your corned beef days are over.”
And somewhere in the shadows, Madam Ashee and her gang of feline felons are still waiting… because once a Malinois tastes forbidden luxury and feline affection, he never truly returns to the compound the same way again.
The end.
(Or is it? Ekuke still disappears for “night patrols” suspiciously often.)
Ekuke said Pipo are saying I am not a Belgian Malinois but If his Oga has Belgium Car Then he Is Belgium Dog
Fact Ekuke is a Belgium Dog With Mali Origins
Photo by Ekuke .. This is Rover My Cousin in The Abroad This Life no Balance ooo na Corn beef and Corn fish Rover dey chop daily
Belgian Malinois are generally not recommended for the average family. While fiercely loyal, they are highly specialized working dogs. They require vast amounts of daily exercise, constant mental stimulation, and expert-level handling. Without an active job to do, they can easily become destructive or anxious